When I Am Weak...

“I delight myself in you, captivated by your beauty. I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by you. God I run into your arms, unashamed because of mercy. I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by you.”

      That is the best way to describe this last week. I don't even know where to start. God is opening up my mind to so much more of who He is than He ever has, and it truly is overwhelming. He has poured His love, joy, peace, mercy, comfort, and so many other things on me. He is such a good Father. At the beginning of this week, I was nervous because I had it set in my mind that it was going to be a really difficult week. We were told we would have more intense classes and longer days, so I was expecting to be exhausted. But God used it as a chance to teach me so much! It was like He said, “You think this is going to be a rough week? Well let me prove to you how much I can sustain you. Here's all the joy and energy you need!” We did have longer days. We did have longer and more intense classes. But when we are weak, HE IS STRONG! I woke up every morning feeling so refreshed and joyful and ready for the day. I lived this verse this week... “But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 So I just want to give Jesus so much glory! He has displayed His power in my weakness, and He deserves every single ounce of credit.

       On Sunday when I first woke up, I was feeling pretty tired and a little down, and just not excited for the day. But by the time breakfast was over, it was a complete turnaround in my heart. I can't explain it, I just felt like something was carrying me, and I know it was God. Satan tried to get at me, but he failed miserably! Every day is a battle, and I have had so much victory. There was definitely a battle going on in my heart that morning. I was trying so hard to choose joy, but at first I was not succeeding. I felt like Paul, in Romans 7:15 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I didn't want to be down, I wanted to choose joy! But it was such a struggle. Paul continues is verses 24-25: “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!” I just love the contrast of those two verses. And then comes chapter 8, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. Paul just gets so excited! He starts with how we have been set free from sin and death, and how we are controlled by the Spirit. He continues and talks about Heaven and how “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (verse 18) And then he keeps building, talking about the Spirit interceding for us when we are too weak to pray, and “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (verse 31), and then he gets all excited about God raising Christ from the dead. And then he ends the chapter with such an amazing truth... “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (verses 37-39) So pretty much, WE HAVE VICTORY! And it was nothing I did to receive it on Sunday. It was all Jesus. He filled me with His joy and gave me everything I needed. He sustained me through the entire day, and all the glory goes to Him. This has been the theme of the entire trip: Me getting discouraged or just feeling down, and then God doing all the work to fill me with joy and energy. 

     

       I led devotions last night for our group of internationals, and I was talking about going through hard situations. When God takes me through challenges, or things that I really can't do on my own, I become so much more effective, because everything I do has to be done through God's strength and not my own. When I love people with God's love instead of my own, it makes such a bigger impact, and then He gets all the glory. Allowing myself to be stretched not only helps me grow, but also allows me to be more of a blessing to those around me. 

      I remember at the end of January, I was talking with my dad and was telling him that I had already learned a ton, why couldn't God just bring me home then? What more could possibly teach me? But now, almost two months later, I wouldn't traded all of these experiences for anything. He has taught me so much more than I ever could have imagined. I'm tempted to say the same thing again...why can't God just bring me home now? I have already learned so much! But I know He has even more in store, and my work here is not yet done. So I will keep relying on Him to strengthen me and sustain me. I will keep pressing into Him. I will keep seeking His will every day. And all the glory goes to HIM. 

      I don't take all your prayers for granted. I would not be where I am without everyone who is praying for me. So thank you, thank you, thank you! Please continue to pray that I will let Him carry me through everything, and that I will truly love people with His love. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen."
-Ephesians 3:20-21

     

Just a Glimpse

I was sitting in a taxi on the way back to Watoto Church Central on Sunday, after serving at one of the other celebration points, when I noticed two young girls weaving their way through the traffic. They were probably about 10 and 12 years old, and one of them saw me through the window and just came right up and put her hands on the glass and was waving at me. What did she want? I don't know. I waved back and our taxi kept moving, past so many people and places. So many stories. So much joy, so much heartbreak. Every day as I pass the same places and see different people going about their lives, I wish I could capture everything in a picture, but it's difficult to do from a moving vehicle. So on our way home last night, I had my phone out and my eyes peeled, and I took note of a bunch of different things I saw. I want to let you into my world a little, so here is the list...

Goats eating green grass on the edge of a hill by the road
A Blur of brown roofs and green trees against a blue sky
Worn posters on every flat surface
Building that are halfway finished
A group of children playing soccer on a dirt field
A man sitting under an umbrella with a pile of mangos in front of him
Worn Clothes hanging on lines all over
A woman balancing a large pile of folded clothes on her head as she walks along the road
Garbage spilling over the side of a hill
A gate around a house with barbed wire all along the top
A street lined with clothes, shoes, matoke, backpacks, potatoes, pineapple, hats, and all sorts of fruit and veggies
"Airtime" and  "mobile money" signs everywhere!
Makeshift umbrellas over roadside businesses to keep the sun off
Taxis stuffed as full as they can be with people
A boda boda with chickens hanging off ever side
Papyrus fields galore
A boda boda with an umbrella
A bright green Toyota car in the middle of poverty
A young boy carrying a box on his head and things around his neck to sell
A man working on shaping the head of a bed
Bed frames lining the road
The bed of a truck overflowing with pineapples
A man riding on top of a truck, filled with cows
Boda boda guys lined up, having a casual conversation
Random piles of bricks and rocks
Beautiful, elaborate metal doors for sale
A stork flying high in the sky
Two men washing a car with water from jerry cans and and sponges
A woman on a mat in the middle of her yard, just sitting
Coca cola banners above the entrance to a supermarket
"2,900 UG shillings for a liter of gas"
Sideless barns full of lumber
Shop after shop with the most random things for sale: lawn chairs, backpack, flower pots, shovels, mattresses
Purple and blue metal bunk bed frames
White manikins with African clothes
A line of cars slowing down because of the many speed bumps
Cars whizzing by "Stop, police check" signs
A man with a stack of 4 square (8 by 8) egg cartons balanced on his head
A pile of jeans, 5 feet high at least
Shops with bars at the entrance so no one can enter, just order from outside
Random hills that just seem to pop up everywhere
A boda boda driver with a winter coat on in HOT weather (over 80 degrees)
Men working in Small Gardens along the road
A single boy breakdancing in the middle of a soccer field
A cow tied to a rope eating grass
A field of lined up bricks
Clothes laying in the grass to dry in the sun
A goat nibbling on grass by a pile of bricks
Brick walls that look like they don't serve any purpose
A man with dress pants and a button up shirt, walking to the beat coming from his headphones

This is only a small glimpse of what I see every day. It is so different from home, but even in the midst of the drastic differences, GOD NEVER CHANGES. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, no matter where we go. This week He has been teaching me so much about His love for me, and my love for Him. He has shown me that literally, everything I do, I should do out of love for Him. He is overwhelming me with His love and joy, and it's truly amazing. I am learning so much about life and love and contentment and true joy. It's incredible. God is so good!